I have no filter. And the sweating! It's totally disgusting. I can't stop myself from saying what's on my mind, but I can still hear myself say the stupid shit that pours from my mouth like vapid diarrhea. Once I realize what I'm saying I get all embarrassed and just start sweating. Why couldn't I be one of those girls who get that cute rosy blush. Nope. I'm a sweater. Face, pits, cleavage sweat. Last week I was at this dinner party talking to some Israeli guy when i realized i was talking about persecuted Palestinians. When I got home there was a big sweaty butt print on the back of my cocktail dress.
It's even worse when i catch myself doing it and try to stop. then I can only think about all the things I could have said that were worse. Like, I was on this date with a really hot guy and I realized I had been talking for twenty minutes about the infection my mom got after her knee surgery. I tried to gracefully segue out of it by finding something related but not as gross, and I ended up talking about the results of my fertility test and how I wanted to have kids with him.
My mom says "Thank goodness you're pretty." But the thing is I'm smart too. I know a lot of interesting things. I'm a nuclear physicist for crying out loud. I just have no filter.
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