Wrirting prompt using the phrase "I have no filter"

I have no filter.  And the sweating!  It's totally disgusting.  I can't stop myself from saying what's on my mind, but I can still hear myself say the stupid shit that pours from my mouth like vapid diarrhea.  Once I realize what I'm saying I get all embarrassed and just start sweating.  Why couldn't I be one of those girls who get that cute rosy blush.  Nope.  I'm a sweater.  Face, pits, cleavage sweat.  Last week I was at this dinner party talking to some Israeli guy when i realized i was talking about persecuted Palestinians.    When I got home there was a big sweaty butt print on the back of my cocktail dress.

It's even worse when i catch myself doing it and try to stop.  then I can only think about all the things I could have said that were worse.  Like, I was on this date with a really hot guy and I realized I had been talking for twenty minutes about the infection my mom got after her knee surgery.  I tried to gracefully segue out of it by finding something related but not as gross, and I ended up talking about the results of my fertility test and how I wanted to have kids with him. 

My mom says "Thank goodness you're pretty." But the thing is I'm smart too.  I know a lot of interesting things.  I'm a nuclear physicist for crying out loud.  I just have no filter. 

The missing pieces

Every time I wake up a new piece is missing.  Sometimes it's a fingernail or a chunk of hair.  Sometimes it's a finger or an ear.  I have no idea how long I sleep.  I rarely dream.  I have no idea how many nights I've slept.  How long I've been here.  I try to keep track, but consciousness fades in and out.  When I sleep I don't want to awaken to the nightmare.  When I'm awake I don't want to sleep for fear of what will be left of me when I wake.  The pain is so constant that i sometimes forget that it's there.  Just like I've forgotten my name, or anything outside this room.